Week 9 Weigh-In Result!

I didn't quite manage to lose the 3lbs I put on last week, but I did lose 1.4lbs. So that's something. My weight is now 196.6lbs.

I know I said I was really determined to do well last week, but somehow things didn't go to plan. I'm blaming it on stress from coursework - I mean, I have been stressed out from coursework - but I know it's not really an excuse. I know lots of people with lots of stuff going on, but they're still managing to find the willpower to watch what they eat. I just keep asking myself, why am I so weak? Don't I want this? I think it's because in my brain, I keep going from one extreme to the other - being too harsh on myself and then rebelling against it because I'm so sick of telling myself NO all the time. So I end up saying yes quite a lot.

It's not a very good excuse. I just need to get my act together.

I've got a new strategy this week - I've already planned out all my food (and have made an allowance for alcohol at the Halloween party on Wednesday) and if I can stick to it this week, I think I should have a much better result on Monday and I'll be back on track. I'm mainly having stir-frys with turkey, lots of vegetables and brown rice for dinner this week. It probably doesn't sound great, but man, it's good. Really filling and satisfying.

I'm feeling good about this week, and I'm confident that I'll finally get below 195. I know at this point I'd usually do my Food List of Shame for last week - but it's just more of the same bad food choices. You know what I'm like (see previous posts). But this week, I'm really determined to stick to my food plan - no more sneaky trips to Subway or McDonalds.

I'm glad I've got a proper plan for this week, because for the last couple of weeks I've been feeling as though I've been losing control and spiralling back towards 200. I'm done with this mini-plateau (which isn't even a proper plateau because it's basically just down to me eating too much) - and I'm ready to start dropping the weight again. Yeah. I'll have a treat when I hit my 20lb goal of 185.6. 11lbs to go!

Week 8 Weigh-In Result!

Well, it was going to happen sooner or later - I had my first proper binging-and-pigging-out-and-not-caring-about-what-I-ate week.

As a result, I went from 195.0lbs last week to 198.0lbs this week! THREE POUNDS UP!

That's quite horrifying. But as horrible as it is, I know it'll be alright. I am NOT going back over 200. I've had my fun, I've had a nice few days telling myself not to care and to eat whatever I want - so now it's back to work. It's just part of the ups and downs of losing weight. It'll be alright.

So, time to go through my food diary for the latest Food List of Shame:

• Alcoholic beverages (which came to a total of 777 calories in one night - argh!)
• Cake
• One full English hangover breakfast
• 3 course meal at the Loch Fyne Fish Restaurant, also with several large pieces of bread and butter and mixed olives! (This was absolutely delicious though...)
• Half a large Domino's pizza
• Half a box of Domino's Chicken Kickers
• 6 inch Subway meatball marinara
• 1.5 pints of beer

Awful. As you can see from the list, I quite clearly did not give a crap about what I ate this week. Well, that's not strictly true - the first four days of the week went very well and I had everything under control. It was that hangover day that threw me off. I felt so awful that I just started not caring. So, in future, I'd like to avoid getting a hangover and just y'know, drink less the night before. It's not worth feeling that terrible the day after AND having it throw me off my diet completely.

Just to give you an idea how many calories I ate (I managed to track everything all week, even though sometimes I really didn't want to). My total amount of calories for the week was 14778, and the daily average was 2111. Now, some people would tell me that there's no way I should have gained three pounds from that, since 2111 is roughly my TDEE. If they're right, I shouldn't really have gained weight at all. So then what - are we just looking at a lot of food weight that is still in my system (I only ate the pizza about 10 hours ago...). Perhaps a lot of water retention from the increased sodium levels? It's all possible, I suppose. It's reassuring to think that maybe I haven't just gained three pounds of fat back, but I have no idea what's actually going on, really.

But anyway, I've been hovering around last week's weight far too long (195), and now I've just given myself more work to do to just get back to that weight. Not a happy thought. I knew last week was going downhill pretty quickly, but I'd hoped I would be able to maintain or just have a small gain. But anyway, I've had a gain and it's the first gain I've had since September 17th - so that's not too bad. Now for many more weeks of losses!

This week is going to be flawless. I wouldn't normally say that, but I'm really, really determined now!

Week 7 Weigh-In Result!

I lost 0.6lbs this week, bringing my total weight loss to 10.6lbs and my current weight to 195.0lbs.

Food list of shame for last week:

• Chocolate eclair
• Chicken tikka biryani, 1.5 poppadoms and half a peshwari naan (from the Indian restaurant down the road) - this was a LOT of food... and after everything else I had that day, my calorie total was probably about 3000 - argh!
• KFC Boneless banquet for one
• Lots of Haribo Tangfastics (had a massive container of them, but thankfully they're all gone now)

I think I need to start paying more attention to the amount of carbs, fat and protein I'm eating. Here's a little summary of my week's food, according to the extremely awesome My Fitness Pal app:

I really need to find a way of getting more protein into my diet without having to pay too much (meat is so expensive!). Low fat cottage cheese is a good option, but let's face it - there's only so much of that you can eat... If anyone has any suggestions, please let me know! I can't afford to buy loads of meat, and eggs also have a lot of fat so I can't just gorge on those. Help!

I've also been using a little NHS app on my phone for tracking my BMI - here's where I'm at as of yesterday morning when I weighed myself:

OBESE! But I'm edging closer to the yellow. The lovely yellow. To get out of the obese section and into the plain ol' overweight section, I just need to lose 7lbs. That will be awesome. To get into the normal green section, I need to lose 38lbs. But still, just to be able to tell myself that I'm not officially obese any more will be wonderful! Just think, in a few weeks I could just be overweight!

Had a little non-scale victory a few days ago. There's a friend's birthday party coming up, and after traipsing around the city centre for many hours and not finding anything, I ended up ordering this dress online from New Look:

I looked at the size chart, and eventually decided to risk it and order a size 16. I instantly regretted it - why oh why hadn't I just gone for a size 18? I was going to have to send it back and it would be a pain in the arse and I'd have to find something else with not much time left - but IT ACTUALLY FITS! Usually when I try stuff on from New Look, their size 16s never fit me - I guess it just shows that I'm starting to shrink a little bit. YES.

Week 6 Weigh-In Result!

This is quite exciting. I lost 2.4lbs this week, which brings my total loss since the 27th August to:

TEN POUNDS!

Ten whole pounds! YES. I've gone from 205.6 to 195.6 in 6 weeks. WOOHOO! 200 is still lurking close by, though - it feels like it's only ever one pig-out away from being back there. I don't think I'll ever really feel safe from slipping back into the 200s until I lose another 10, but it's enough for me right now that I've managed to stay in onderland for the last three weeks. That's awesome.

I haven't been this weight since March. If I carry on like this, then in the next few weeks I'll be at weights I haven't been at for over a year - which is so exciting. I can't believe that something I'm doing is finally working and that I'm losing weight. I had begun to lose hope that I could even do it, since my body had become so successful at maintaining my weight for years in the 190s without me even doing anything.

I'm not really sure if the weight loss is visible, yet. My clothes don't feel too different - maybe my jeans are a little bit looser. I'm looking forward to my next goal, which will be to lose another 10lbs (185.6lbs). Hopefully by then, there'll be a visible change. I remember weighing 185 last spring, before we went to Florida - and being so happy because I was definitely smaller. I was wearing things I haven't dreamed of trying to put on since then, and I felt so much better about myself. It's really exciting to know that that's ahead of me.

It was my ninth wedding anniversary on Wednesday night, so M and I went out for a super fancy meal. So, I've got quite a bit to put on this week's Food List of Shame:

• Chocolate chip brioche bun thing
• McDonald's big mac meal with medium fries
• Caramel macchiato
• Starbucks blueberry muffin
• Way too many tangfastics (sweets/candy)
• Fish and chips
• 3 course fancy meal, ending with peanut butter cheesecake and caramelised bananas
• Glass of wine and a half a pint of beer
• Wagamama: chicken raisukaree and ebi gyoza (omg, so good)
• Sausage and chips
• Another big mac

That's a pretty impressive list. You're probably wondering how I managed to eat all that and still lose weight - well, I was still within my calorie goal. So basically we're talking about bad food choices, which is something I definitely need to work on. M and I are trying to cut down on spending, so we're going to try and spend less when we're out and about, and just eat at home. I quite like the healthy stuff we eat at home, anyway - we make really good stir-frys and salads, and I like making homemade tomato sauce and having that with pasta or gnocchi or whatever. It's good.

This week we're also going to hopefully start going to the gym at the university, twice a week. I have to be honest here - I didn't do a kettlebell workout at all last week and well, I think I'm getting a little bit bored with it. So it'll be nice to be able to use some new weights or machines or whatever it is I'm going to be doing. And M will be with me, I think it'll be really nice to do our workouts together. I think I'd feel a bit daunted going to the gym on my own.

Anyway, I've got to go - but to summarise: things are really good right now. :D

Week 5 Weigh-In Result!

I lost 1.4lbs this week! My current weight is 198.2lbs, and my total loss so far is 7.4lbs.

I'm quite late in writing this update, because my Week 6 weigh-in is tomorrow!

Things are going really well. I did a pre-weigh-in weigh-in this morning, and things are looking good for tomorrow! If I'm lucky, I might even be at my first milestone of a loss of 10lbs. That would be amazing, especially considering the Food List of Shame for this week, which I'll put in tomorrow's post. It's quite a long list...