Saturday, 1 June 2013

1st June, another new start

It's the first of June, which obviously means another new start. I haven't bothered to weigh myself because the last week has been so horrendous that I know my weight will be up a lot. I'm estimating that I'm at least 195lbs right now (and I think that's a pretty kind estimation). Which is 7lbs than I was a month ago in my last post.

Excuses: This month was my final month at university, the workload was extremely heavy and it was a tough time. But of course I know that's just an excuse. If I was really committed to losing weight, I'd have found a way to stay strong. But somehow food always wins. It's such a gross addiction, I hate it. I HATE THIS.

So I'm frustrated. This blog was all about losing weight before I turn 30, which is in just under three months. On paper, that amount of time is still enough to make a big difference...

But the problem is, I just don't know what I'm doing. I've tried so many different things, and maybe the main problem is that I've never stuck at any of them for long enough to see results - but I just generally feel completely clueless about the best approach to take. The simplest approach for me is to count calories. It's the only way I can regulate how much I'm eating. I just need to be more hardcore and start taking this seriously.

Also, I have my graduation photos in a month and a half, which is putting pressure on myself to do something urgently. 

Basically, this isn't going to work. I just feel like I don't have a plan. Pretty much doomed to failure right here. I've got this little voice in my head, though, screaming "DO SOMETHING". I mean, nothing will ever change unless I am prepared to do the work. Anyway, I didn't want this post to be one of those "I'm back, LET'S DO THIS!!!!!!!!" posts, because I'm just not really feeling like that. I know the chances are, I'll post back here in a couple of months, and I'll still be the same weight. It's depressing knowing that. I just need to get my head in the right place. Maybe if I can have a week of eating right and exercising, I'll feel like maybe I can do this. But first I have to get through a whole week. And that means just getting through today first.

I feel like it's such a stupid struggle, and that if I were just mentally stronger, it would be easy to do this. Why can't I commit to making this change?

I'll try and post again soon.


  1. Hello! Have you tried this 5:2 diet thingy? (Sorry, I've only read a selection of your posts so I'm not sure what you've done and what you haven't), but seriously, it really works as you only have to be strict on yourself 2 days a week which makes them a hell of a lot more bearable!!
    On the days when you're not having to restrict, something that really helped me was to take photos of everything you eat before you eat it as it really makes you stop and think - especially if you tend to snack in public as people will probably think you're weird for taking photos of your food and that will therefore deter you from eating it.
    Good luck with everything and I'm sure you can do it!!
    Emily xxx

  2. You have to be ready to commit to the change. I went through a lot of the same struggles you are and I just had to come to a point where enough was enough. For everyone, it's a different point. You just need to believe that you can do it and take some steps to get there.

    Congratulations on making it through another year at University!

  3. Welcome back! all you can do is take one day at a time, set yourself some small goals, and hopefully it will snowball!

  4. Hi Steph,

    Everyday is a fresh new start :). Remember it's not how many times you fall down that counts, it's how many times you get back up! I nominated you for a Liebster aware! Please see here